Villain's Bar
by Zubric
Summary: "The Villain's Bar" (full desc in chapter) For this was no ordinary bar. Built by Discord h imself, and crafted with arcane magic this place served as hub for the scum of the planet below. Here they could come and drink away their hatred of all things good in the world. For some, it was merely a place to hang out with others like them, other a place to forget their defeats.
1. Chapter 1

Villain's Bar

"Goodnight Sister," Celestia said as she passed Luna on her way down the stairs to her bedchambers.

Luna took her post of the night, raising her sparkling moon with a quick glow of her horn. For Luna, tonight would be like any other. While all was peaceful on the planet below, the same could [i]not[/i] be said for the moon. For lying hidden on the dark side of the moon lay a large bar like building. The structure had no defining features except for a large wooden door. Above the doorway hung a neon sign.

"The Villain's Bar"

For this was no ordinary bar. Built by Discord h imself, and crafted with arcane magic this place served as hub for the scum of the planet below. Here they could come and drink away their hatred of all things good in the world. For some, it was merely a place to hang out with others like them, other a place to forget their defeats. Most days were calm and orderly. However as anyone knows Friday nights are just asking for trouble.  
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Gilda drummed her talons on the smooth silver surface of the bar scanning about the room to keep a close eye on everything going on around her. Despite her original protests about Discord hiring her, she had soon found she liked it. The ability to backtalk and even, if needed, kick someone out of the bar if they made trouble was so rewarding to her. This particular Friday night had started out like many others before. A few changelings would walk in and order love #5. A group of diamond dogs shuffle to their corner were a large table sat for their weekly card games. A common sight at the bar was a certain ex-king, who would show up to get to drink crystal berry juice and stare blankly about without much purpose.

A black coated alicorn sat at the far end of the bar. Her star sparkled mane drooped over her face hardly majestic looking as she once had been. She would simply sit there staring at the bottom of her glass contemplating things she had done a million times before. Not much of a threat since she had no real form to possess.

Gilda walked over, pulling the cork off a new bottle and poured her a glass of wine. Feeling mischievous, she leaned down loking right into Nightmare Moon's eyes. "Hey why the long face?" She asked.

Nightmare's mane lit up as she stared at Gilda with annoyance. "Do you have to make that joke every time?" she snared. Suddenly her magic aura gripped Gilda's throat lifting her up above the floor.

"Hey lighten up will you." Gilda said gasping for air as the solid energy squeezed around her neck. She knew Moon couldn't kill her, bar rules after all. Besides she faced worse in her days.

"I am darkness, I don't lighten up!" she yelled. With a flick of her head she sent Gilda flying, a loud percussion of glass clattered as she banged against the shelves at the back of the counter.

With no sustained injuries, Gilda got back to her feet. She turned and inspected the shelves. Luckily, they had been reinforced so that nothing would fall off. "Whatever sulk for all I care, I get paid either way," she scoffed as she poured a glass of love for a changeling. She picked up a cloth and polished her golden medallion she wore. As time went by she wondered where her boss had run off too. As if Discord had read her mind a flash of light got her attention.

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The dramatic flash faded as Discord, the God of chaos, appeared in the doorway. He gestured dramatically for a few seconds expecting something. Of course, no one cared, but he didn't mind he had style. He took a moment to glance about remembering the joys of building this place, and on one occasion rebuilding it. Discord made it clear to himself that after that day he should never invite an ursa ever again.

He stood proud twirling the cane in his paw as he made his way to the bar counter wanting to chat with his partner of sorts. As he passed a group of changelings, one of them whispered to his friend. "Oh look it's the goody goody, here to mingle with his friends."

Discord stopped dead in his tracks his face contorting in disgust. He turned to face them and without even a second of hesitation he snapped his fingers. The changeling that had spoke up suddenly found himself lifted off the floor and was now hovering above the table. With a quick flash the a changeling plushie landed on the table with a small squeak.

Discord smirked, "Anymore sarcastic remarks you'd like to make, hmm?"

The other changelings quickly shook their heads in unison "No"

Satisfied with his display, Discord walked up to the bar and sat down smiling. "Gilda, a glass of chocolate milk please."

Gilda complied as she poured the glass of milk and turned to face Discord. Her expression was everything Discord had hoped for. She stared at him with befuddlement tilting her head slighlty. "What are you wearing?" She said looking at the black and red pajamas.

Discord looked down at his uniform and smiled "Oh this old thing? I just grabbed whatever I could find out of my closet."

"Right..." she replied dryly clearly not wanting to dive further into Discord chaotic nature. "So, how's your day been?"

Discord drank his milk making bubbles as he did so. "Oh quite well actually, helped Fluttershy set up a new garden, pranked Rainbow Dash, the usual."

Gilda's ear perked at the mentioning of her old friend. "Oh, what you do to her?"

"Oh nothing big, just turned her house all pink," he replied with a snicker, "I turned it back...eventually."

Gilda let out a small chuckle at the imagery. "Nice."

Discord nodded sipping more of his milk. "Oh indeed it was." He turned his head hearing some laugher from one corner of the bar. The self proclaimed Great and Powerful Trixie, sat in her chair pointing at Sombra annoyed.

"What do you mean Trixie's isnot a villain? Just because I apologized, does not mean I am not a villain!"

Sombra deep throated laugh get the attention of every creature near by. "Oh i'm so scared of a few magic tricks. How sinister, look everyone she pulling a rabbit out of her hat," he lifted his hooves wiggling them about in front of him.

Discord chuckled. "Well to be fair you're hardly a major player."

"I took over Ponyville for longer than any of you bozos did!" She jutted her hoof at Discord specifically. Unknownst to the two, Queen Chrysalis had walked into the bar and had approached. " I actually defeated Twilight Sparkle! So how does that not make me a villain."

Sombra waved a hoof. "Ha, you had help."

Trixie groaned. "So what if I used an artifact. As i recall you tried to use the crystal heart."

Sombra suddenly shivered. 'Ugh don't mention crystals."

Before the two could continue Chrysalis chimed in. "Well i'll give you credit, getting outwitted certainly beats being defeated by your own food source."

Discord broke into a laugh. "Pfff, oh yes that is the most humiliating way to be beaten," he looked over at Sombra. "Well maybe being beaten by a baby dragon comes close."

"Other than handing your enemies their weapons and sitting in your throne and just letting it hit you?" Chrysalis sneered back.

"Hey! You try and dodge the elements, it's not easy. Besides hiding the elements wouldn't have made the game fun."

He turned to his right and stared at the shriveled looking creature in the corner. Tirek still cuffed and seemed to be smirking. Discord kept him under control only taking him out to the bar a few times just because he felt like it. betrayed or not, he made for a good poker partner. "Have something to say?"

Tirek coughs a bit pulling back his hood of his cloak. 'Oh I was just going to say that despite all our losses, I was the one that came the closest to victory. So you all fail in comparison."

Chrysalis and Nightmare both stared at him rolling their eyes. Clearly not impressed.

"Well despite my loss I still have an empire. Oh and took out Celestia with my own magic."

Trixie glanced. "You said it yourself you were given a boost by that love thing."

"Shut up minor." she hissed back.

Trixie stood up. 'Trixie is a not a minor."

Gilda watched amused smirking. 'What's the big deal if you are a villain or not, not like you have anything to show of it." She polished her glass before pouring some cider into it.

'The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't have to take this from some lost causes." She huffs and turned heading for the door.

"Whatever." Gilda drank her glass and glanced back at the three villains.

Discord puts his feet on the table blowing bubbles out of his hand. "You were saying something Queeny?"

Chrysalis opened her mouth to speak but quickly stopped herself. "Oh whatever so what if Tirek came closer to victory I'm the better of you three. I mean Sombra is supposed to be dead."

Discord shrugged. "You expect me to follow the rules of reality, this whole bar makes no sense, and I love it. What got you all moody?"

The changling grumbled looking back at her glass. "Someone stole my mane brush."

"Oh is that all I thought this was something important." He replied thinking of a hair bush song.

"You have it don't you? You are always taking my things."

"Me? Why would you say that," Discord put his claw to his chest. "I mean what would I need with a mane brush."

"Cause you left a calling card." She tossed the plastic piece of plastic at him, it read in bold letters across the surface

D[i]iscord found and now lost call 1 888 discord today[/i]

Discord chuckled. "Oh forgot I left that there." With a quick snap of his talons the mane brush appeared.

Chrysalis snatched the brush in her magic before giving Discord a hard smack across the cheek with it. "Stop taking my things, you're just like my younger brother." She groaned before turning and heading out the door.

Gilda turned the music back on as the room soon returned to normal. "Well at least nothing blew up this time."


	2. Murphy's Dog

Gilda hummed to the beat bellowing out of the speakers. For all there slanderous business practices, the flim flam brothers sure knew how to sing and jam up a good beat. She was rather surprised Flam could play the Saxophone, he didn't seem the musical type. She adjusted her plain white apron, enjoying the soothing sax as it gave the bar a relaxing atmosphere. That was until some loudmouth spoke up to spoil her mood.

"Hey can I get some service already." The red teenage dragon called out from the end of the bar. Gilda just rolled her eyes at first seeing him. He didn't all that evil at least not physically. All she really knew was from what Discord had told her. Turns out this Garble fellow tried to harm Spike, Twilight litte assistant.

 _Pfff, evil yeah right. Oh look at me I can breath fire and swim in lava._

A quick cough caught got her attention back to the matter at hand as the teen drummed his claw on the table rather impatiently. "Hello!"

Gilda smirked while idly walked over to him. "No need to shout my hearing just fine." She replied idly with her usual snark. "What do you want?"

"Gems like I said the first time."

"Hmm from how growly you say that, I swear you were a diamond dog in disguise." She watched as one of the diamond dogs ear swivel to listen at the mention of their race. _Oh this should be good._

"Hey I'm no mutt." Garble snarled back balling up his fist.

"Hey, who you calling a mutt!" The diamond dog turns to look at Garble teeth just as sharp as the dragons.

Gilda had just enough time to notice Discord sitting on his upside down bar stool munching away on popcorn and watching the sight unfold. Popcorn only meant two things, and given here was no movie for tonight there was only one conclusion. A fight was about to happen.

Grable stared back at the dog thinking he was tough enough. "Well you of course, what is that a flea collar?" He mocked with a chuckle.

The dog rose to his full height now being just as tall as Garble. "Hey his was given to me by my mom." With a quick thrust his paw slammed into the dragon's chest sending him flying two tables over causing Sombra carefully crafted house of cards to come crashing down. Three hours just gone in a second, Gilda wore she saw a single tear run down his cheek before they burst into his usual demonic glow.

"Think that's really funny don't ya.' He growls down at the dragon sprawled on the floor.

Grable meeped his eyes shrinking to dots as if all the fight was taken out of him just by seeing the green glow of Sombra eyes. 'H-he did it," He quickly pointed to the dog hoping for salvation.

Sombra showed his teeth, the sparkling white fangs emphasised by how he snarled."Yes, but you knocked over my cards!" The shadow pony's horn glowed brightly as he picked up Garble with voracious speed curling the teen into a living ball. He started playing volleyball with the dragon's body the dog punting it back on the other side of the net that Discord had conveniently poofed up.

Gilda chuckled watching the poor dragon getting punted about. Oh well, he had it coming to him anyway. The game lasts till Sombra wins a best ouf ot three game. By the end Grable made a quick retreat to the exit tail literally between his legs. Once the door shut and everyone had a good laugh the brother began to play their music once more returning the bar to its peaceful state, at least for now anyway.

Nightmare moon moved her bangs out of her face taking a sip from her glass of milk. 'Wasn't that a bit much?" she asked still smirking a little.

Discord slithered over taking a seat stroking his beard. "Hmm well maybe, but he wasn't hurt or anything. Well not physically anyway. Beside I found the act quite amusing and creative."

From the mare's washroom a persistent Trixie jumped out some toile paper stuck to her hind hoof. "Trixie came up with that first!" A few chuckled as Discord rolled his eyes uses tiny bit of magic to pushed the door against Trixie like a pinball sending her flying back into the washroom. "Hey!" A loud crash is heard followed by a flush.

Nightmare chuckled again. "Why do you let her stay here?"

Discord shrugged. "Well because she causing chaos in here. What fun is there in peaceful nights anyway."

"Wouldn't hurt if there was." Gilda mumbled under her breath serving some changelings across the bar.

"Oh hush you, you're just as much a goody goody as Trixie." Discord teased.

"Yeah whatever I just like the bits." She flips on with her talon landing on heads as it hit the counter top.

"Oh I thought it was cause you enjoyed my company." He smirked before teleporting over to Rover. "As for you well you need to chill."

"I'm no mutt i'm a pure bread. Fido's the mutt."

Fido looked over suddenly. 'Hey so what if my mother was part goblin?"

"That's not the point," he facepalmed. "Oh nevermind." He got up quickly heading for the washroom.

Discord snaps up a party hat for no reason setting it upon his head. "Oh by the way I decided to invite one of my old pals over today."

Gilda blinked leaning against the countertop. 'Oh are you bringing Medusa over again are you? Last time she got stoned."

Somewhere by the stage a Changeling did a rimshot snickering.

Discord waved his paw in the air. "Oh no someone else. Murphy should be here any moment."

Sombra and few other gasp and turns the music stopping abruptly.

"Not him anyone but him." Chrysalis ducked under the table pulling a random changeling into a hug for protection. Her juttering of the table legs causing Sombra two layered house of cards to come crashing down again.

"oh come on."

Discord chuckled 'Oh come now you're all overreacting." He rolled his eyes looking at the door.

"you're kidding, you're kidding right?" Nightmare asked while drinking her glass.

Gilda raised an eyebrow having never seen this named creature before. "Who's Murphy?"

Before Discord could answer however the main door opened revealing a tall bipedal creature, his body obscured by the dark blue cloak draped over him. The shoulder were decorated in golden lines swirling about in the light. The room remained eerly quiet as he walked further inside staring left and right at the dwellers. If one were to look straight at him they would see no face to be found, for his body was black smoke held together by unknown means. the void constantly shifted with grays and black as two crimson red lizard eyes watched from within. With no physical body his feet made no noise, the only sound to be heard being his dog trailing behind panting happily.

Discord looked down at the rather tiny dog Murphy had brought. It was adorable to be sure Fluttershy no doubt would have want to pet it all day.

Murphy let out a cough and glanced at Discord with his mute expression. "Gosh Discord I feel so welcome," he rolled his eyes seeing every creature giving him a cautious glance before sitting down at the bar.

"Them, oh they are just overreacting." He glanced back at the tables seeing Chrysalis still hiding. "Pff and you call yourself a queen."

Flim began a gentle piano beat to fill the odd silence the bar eventually going back to whatever they were doing. A lamp randomly fell over a moment later knocking out a diamond dog.

Gilda pours Murphy a glass of ice water. "So why everyone so skittish around you. Other than the fact you look like death," she seemed rather unaffected by the appearance or at least showed none on the outside.

"I'm true chaos my dear," he replied with a deep gravely voice that came from within his none moving void under the cloak. "I'm nor good nor evil but ponies tend to think of me as bad luck." His drink vanished upon contact with misty mouth turning into vapour. "Have you never heard of Murphy's law?"

'Sort of, although what a strange phrase."

"Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong," he laughed. "it's all about..perspective." He gestures towards the dog tha had been knocked out jus mere moments before. Rover looked quickly around thinking no one was watching and snatched the dog bisket from the others pocket.

Gilda drums her talons giving a blank look in return. "I don't get it. they do that all the time."

"Yes but was it bad luck or good?"

Discord chuckled as he watched Gilda blink her mouth open as she tries to think of an answer. At the same time, a bug just happen to fly into her mouth.

"Gah bug." she coughed quickly rushing to get a drink. Murphy let out a snicker before lifting his dog to his lap gently petting with his hand.

Discord smiled watching the critter pant happily. "So what's the puppy's name?"

"Karma" He simply replied continuing to pet his pup.

Unbeknownst to the two, Gilda had returned suddenly commenting from the blue. 'isn't Karma a b-"

Discord shushed Gilda quickly putting a claw to her beak. "Hush do you want his story to be set to Teen."

Gilda blinked. "What are you talking about his dog is a -"

"Quiet!"

Murphy chuckled amused by the phrase. 'Oh come now, it's true she the cutest little bitch. Yes she is." Karma barks happy.

"Gah." Discord peeked into a book for a short while before coming out. "Okay we're safe for now." He sighed.

Gilda just looked at him confused. 'You're as random as Pinkie Pie sometimes."

Discord laughs again as Trixie ran up groaning angrily. 'That was the joke? that's not even that funny."

Murphy looked back at the unicorn confused. "Joke, whatever do you mean." If he had a mouth he would have smirked.

Trixie humphed and turned walking towards the door unaware of the bar of soap she was heading for. Discord opened the door a wave of his hand just as the great and clutshy Trixie stepped on the bar and began sliding uncontrollably towards the door. She let out scretch as she flew down the isle unable to stop. With one last ditch effort she grabbed the doorknob with her hoofs only to cause it to slab behind her when she left.

Karma could only watch as the vibrations ran across the floor jingling the table Sombra had moved to. His eye began to twitch as his carefully placed layer came crossing down once more. With the fury of a tiger he flipped the table over in rage stretching his forehooves into the air and fell to his knees.

"Why!"


End file.
